Marble Mania: Extreme Brain Gym

As Carrie in Sex and the City used to say at the beginning of an episode "Have you ever wondered why..." . Well, have you ever wondered why people will pay good money for subscription online programs to sharpen their brains as they age, like My Brain Trainer, while there are parents who would gladly let them hone their brain power by putting together complicated gear toys with over 300 pieces??

At Goodwill last Sunday, Sayer spied a box of Techno Gears Marble Mania Extreme. He was pretty excited; he found manual gears there once and each time we go he holds out hope he will find gears again. And this time he did, for only $2.99. Sayer loves gears AND marbles so what a find. We got home and low and behold it was brand new!! Each of the 330, individually numbered pieces were still sealed in bags. Lucky me.

I decided that putting this together would be like a Brain Gym session for adults. It would force me to use logic, follow instructions and focus on a spatial project, rather than words. This type of work is recommended in Carved in Sand, a book on midlife loss of memory and attention. And it has; just the act of repeatedly differentiating between five green connectors only millimeters apart in size has made me feel smarter already.

I'm still not sure, though, if I am working smarter, not harder. I have been making slow progress, with only about 200 more pieces to go. The problem, though, is that I can't do it with Sayer around because he doesn't want to wait until it is completed to use it, and I have other things to do during the time he is in school or asleep.

That's what made me think of the brain matching program. Midlife or elder folks out there who need to keep sharp - how about some real life practice rather than cross word puzzles, sudoku or My Brain Trainer? I bet there are many parents like me who are short of the time and patience to work through 45 page manuals for temperamental techno toys, or even construct a run-of-the-mill Hot Wheels track.

If only it were practical to start an online registry to link those who need to challenge their brains with those who's like to go out to lunch and return with a completely built toy ready for their kids to enjoy or break. But, alas, I imagine there would be logistical problems, as in "Honey, who is this gentleman with the magnifying glass and pipe?" "Oh, just the man who came over to build Johnnie's marble roller coaster."

At any rate, I am determined to finish this Marble Mania Extreme set on my own before school is out. I'm trying to think of it like learning to knit; the more you practice the easier it gets. Wish me luck, and remind me how much Sayer will love it when it is done. Just don't tell me that bargains are not always such bargains. I think I know why it ended up at Goodwill in such pristine condition!

Midlife Moms on the Margins? Hot day, Hot Links

Here we are in a one day heat wave and my ability to write insightful original material seems to be melting along with everything else. So, I'm going to brazenly copy an idea I read on another blog (but sadly don't remember and can't credit) and do a "Link Love Friday." MidlifeBloggers.com was recently started by blogger byjane, when she noticed that most women-oriented blog communities are focused on younger women, not those in midlife. Those of us who commented in agreement are now the nucleus of this group blog. The posts are interesting and fun, such as Menopause Has Stolen My Brain!, by Jan's Sushi Bar.

For a more serious look at the challenges of striving for work/life balance when your family includes members with disabilities, read babs post "Approaching equilibrium" in her Awalkabout's weblog. The comments alone with reassuring you that you are not alone. At the end of the article is a link to an article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencier about the struggles of one family affected by autism.

Finally, through that article I came across a blog for "alternative' special needs families, called My Baby Rides the Short Bus. The blog is an "information page for upcoming anthology written by parents of children with 'special needs' who identify outside of the mainstream" The authors are also compiling a resource guide and are looking for "favorite resources that help to empower us and treat us respectfully as parents/caregivers."

The My Baby Rides the Short Bus blog got me thinking about how the concepts of "mainstream" and "marginalization" are so subjective. Just the words bring back ghosts of sociology past. My family is mainstream, I guess, since we live in the burbs, are a "typical" nuclear family, and we are not poor. Mmn - but are we marginalized by definition because we have a child with special needs? And am I out of the mainstream because I am a midlife mom?

Whew - too much social analysis on a hot day. But I am curious what you readers think - are we "marginalized" or not? And is having a child with special needs enough of a link to forge friendships with parents with values and world views different from your own? Let me know what you think. I'm off to guzzle some iced tea. Have a great week-end, all.

This thing called balance

Is there ever such a thing as real balance? I woke up in the middle of the night  a jolt of anxiety about sending a holiday letter off to friends and relatives that includes this blog address. “What if no one ‘gets it’? But, I’m still working on the format! I liked my first post the best, but I have to keep writing more?”

This blog is an ideal specimen of my struggle with balance – the struggle between fear of baring my soul and my drive to write about myself and women with similar life stories. I’m also trying to find time to write in this blog while also carving time to learn how to blog, add links and so on (“this thing, called code, I just can’t handle it…."). My web 3.0 friend advised me to just start the blog, so I did. In doing so, I’m fighting my natural tendency to master perfection first – you know, get an advanced degree in oceanography before getting my toes wet.